girl fact #285: makeup gives us super human strength. if you see a girl with perfect winged eyeliner and red lipstick, approach with caution. she’s got the power to slay her enemies with one look and use their blood as blush.
I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH
WITH MY OWn mouth
because i like you
tumblr made me a much more tolerant and less judgmental person like my cousin be like “omg look at that bitch eyebrows she drew them damn near in her hairline” and i’m like shrug maybe the bitch wanted to have eyebrows in her hairline you don’t know shit about her life.
am i really supposed to believe that paul walker, star of five Fast & the Furious movies, died in a car crash
why is facial hair so fucking hot
why are boxer briefs so fucking hot
why are age gaps so fucking hot
why are men so fucking hot
sex is cool but have u ever had garlic bread
i want someone to love me as much as i hate myself
Now that’s deep
a boy i dated like two years ago just posted a status on facebook about how much he loves his girlfriend but last night he messaged me saying he misses me and if he ever got the chance he wouldnt hesitate to try and kiss me again and i have all the screenshots of that conversation that i am fully capable of sending to his girlfriend i have this kid right by the balls and i am holding the screenshots for the ransom of 25 taco bell chalupas
i want to be slutty but only with one person u feel me
seduce me with extensive harry potter knowledge
The name Voldemort comes from the French words for “flight of death”, meaning the t at the end should be silent.
damn son u can dirty talk like a champ
Letting your parents listen to your favorite music is so much like bringing a boyfriend home for approval but marginally more important
She texted me: “Your adorable.”
I replied: “No. YOU’RE adorable.”
Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo.